Bye Bye

My life has now changed. I believe it's a change for the better like you said. I am no more living with pretenders.

Sorry that we have to end this way. But after all the hurt we both felt, someone need to put a stop to this. I refused to go on and on and pretend. Are you not tired pretending? I am.

So I am very looking forward to end of this month, when we will officially let go everything. I didn't get a chance to say thank you for being a friend. But I have no regret for I did the best when I was your friend.

Friends come and go in life. Only true friends stays forever. I wish life treats you kind.

Tint Solution's Setapak GPS Coordinate

Aku ade beli voucher dekat mydeal.com. But honestly, kalau dh tgk offer yg melampau2, main beli je la without knowing where the redemption location is. Lepas dah teliti all the infomations, xde pun diorg letak gps coordinate. Nama kedai yg aku cari ni Tint Solution, Setapak outlet.

Google punya google, xjumpa juga gps coordinate dia. Nak pula, aku ni dah la buta jalan. Makanya bebekalkan nama jalan sahaja, iaitu "Jalan Genting Klang", berpusing2 la pening lalat aku kat setapak.

But guess what?! Aku jumpe. haha. So I thought of sharing the GPS coordinate since I've obtain the coordinates. It is purely for those whose road blind like me.. and desperately depend on coordinates.

So, here's the coordinates, folks! N 03°12'08.5" E101°43'15.8"

My life is a joke.

Yesterday night, she called me. The night before I called her. When I called her, she wasn't really in the mood to talk to me. When she called me the night after, (I think you can guess..)

M.A.R.R.I.A.G.E

Well, she didn't exactly start it with marriage. She was beating around the bush and then she started with telling me how tired she felt running the family business without assistance, and wish someone to take over. How she is disappointed that I decided to stay far away from family. How it is complicated that the eldest child is me, a female rather than a male. How sad she is that I'm 26 and still have not decide to marry anyone or even be in a relationship with anyone.

I always wanna try and make the best for you. I am staying away from family because I love that feeling of 'homesick'. You even questioned how much I'm earning and how far my career will take me to. The answer is not much and not far enough to make you feel proud. But at least, I am independent. And who i am and where I stand is because of what you make me. And I am more than willing to give that up... because I know, I won't always have you around. I owe you my life because you are my beloved mother.

Let me quit my job. Let me help to run the family business. But you said, I can't.. because I'm a girl. I said, I'll do it with lil bro. But still, you don't think I should.

Then, you said, I should get marry. I should get a husband. And do what exactly? Let him run our family business? While I let go everything that's left of me, to marry a man in desperate, and let him run our business? Where is the sense in these? Why is the need to rush?

I will get marry when I get marry. If it is destined, why worry?

I know what the problem is. I am not even looking. Because I already tried mom. I looked everywhere before. I saw nasty stuff. I was once in love, I was once blinded. I am done chasing that kind of life anymore. My priority is different now. The truth is, I just don't know where to look anymore. I decided long time ago to let love come to me, if it is meant to be.

Why must we argued? Over boys.. those I've met was my money spender, womanizer and plastic. They don't really look into the definition of love, itself. They don't really love me for me. Honestly, I am tired looking mom. The fact is good guys are hard to come by.

If it's not there, then it is simply not meant to be.

Feeling tensed, messed up mind, empty stomach and long and hectic day in office, I went to have dinner with my dear one. Thank you for laughing and lifted my spirit.

Me: I xtau la mak I tu. Pening kepala I. she was telling me lotsa things that doesnt seem to sound right to me.

Dear: Such as?

Me: Dia kata I will grow old and alone. Then she and my dad wont be here always for me. While my brothers is married with wife and children, I will take turn to live with them, because I tua and alone!

Dear: *Lauging

Me: Why are you laughing? Yeah, go on laughing. My life is a joke.

Dear: Xdela. Mak u kelakar la. Hmm.. obviously dia risau la tu. But you will be just fine. Trust me..

Y.E.S Girl

Attitude.

They say it's the best quality. (I agree)
But very few among us possess such quality.
Somehow, I believe if you want to own it, you can try to plant it in your head. And live positively with attitude free!

I have issues now. A terrible concern!

Do I love my job?

I don't hate my job, I like my job but not that I love my job as in I'm married to my job! I still need time for myself which I prefer to finish my job on time and go home when it is time for me to 'home sweet home'. I can tolerate going home maybe few minutes later but lately, it is nothing like that. I had to stay until late! Alone! In the creepy office!

Some exposure is useful for an opportunity to learn and shine (This is what I believed)

Which is why I never say no, which is why I'm the 'YES girl' in the office and I just realize it's pretty much tiring to be a YES girl! People put too much on my head, I can't bear it anymore. And to make it worst..

You have issue with me!

Because the boss stopped you from what you are doing and wants me to take over what you are doing.

Because I pick up better and have the tendency to glow and shine more than you. You think I'm getting in your way to be the number one girl! - you've got a bad.. very very bad attitude!

And what's worst, I thought you are a friend. I thought wrong. If it's up to my idiocy, I would very much want to delete you from my FB, Twitter and Foursquare! But... a friend share me tips to survive in your dirty business of this unwanted office politic (which is not my thing!)

I should fake it, just as much as you are faking it. For all I know that you don't, I don't like you, very much!

And because of all these craps, I felt so de-motivated and I did not go to work for two days already! (which is of course I feel bad).

I'm sure you people can take the heat that I took alone. What worst can it be? Sack me? Good ahead.

Hating your job is not an option. I do not want to hate my job but for these reasons, I don't love my job too. But I like it because it's my thing, how I earn a living. But I'm starting to feel bad about it. I dun want to have attitude.

You might think I'm just a passing phase, and you are here for the long run. You might not like it, when I took over what you did. I don't want it too. Trust me. But in the mean time, let's just play nice.

I can't control what people want to think about me, or what people want to say about me. But I am capable to control the way I feel. That's the only key. I shouldn't feel so down. I shouldn't feel frustrated or angry. I should be cool and chill. But I'm losing my cool now.

I feel everyone is taking advantage. Craps! One more day to weekend.

Thought of you

I went for interview today. Met Mr. B. a friend of him. Talking to Mr. B, I felt closer to him.

The words he used.. The idea he conveyed to me.. was all amazing. I cant help to think bout him. But he went away.. I should move on.

I wish life treats u kind.

Apa nak buat ni?

Today, when I was driving, I saw a rainbow. "Cantiknya", I thought to myself. Dah lama aku tak tengok rainbow. Tiba2 aku nampak pula. Aku pernah kata kau macam pelangi. Bila ribut taufan dan hujan dah berhenti, kau muncul. Cantiknya.. Tapi sayang, aku tak pernah bgtau kau yang kau dtg sementara je, macam pelangi.

Aku tak tahu, kenapa aku menangis sekarang. Sebab aku rasa kau jahat sgt buat aku macam ni. Sebab aku rasa kau jahat sgt sebab mungkir janji. Teruknya aku rasa bila kau sakitkan hati.

Aku xsuka jatuh cinta. Aku xmahu jatuh cinta lagi. Tapi aku sunyi sendiri. Apa aku nak buat ni?

Asyik MC je!

Adoyai.. hari ni susah betul aku nak bangun. Penat semacam je badan ni aku rasa. Dulu aku x mcm ni. Aku rasa reasonnya ialah aku x suka kerja aku. Sebab aku x suka kerja aku ialah kerana boss aku tu is a pain in the ass. Dulu, aku ingat aku boleh stand semua orang. Tapi ternyata, x semua org aku leh handle. Nak nak pulak yang macam boss aku ni. First time la aku jumpa org macam tu, and aku harap x jumpa lagi. Workload dah la satu hal, ditambah pula dengan perangai boss aku yang entah apa-apa and kolej pulak nak main-main time bayar gaji. Makanya, aku tender resignation notice of 2 weeks dari position English Lecturer ni. Haaaa jgn main2. Aku ni gila sikit. Aku xsuka, aku blah.. tanpa memikir panjang.

Aku sayang students aku cuma management yg teruk. I have to go. Jgn risau, aku dah dpt kerja lain. 1hb ni aku start. Diorg pun offer slightly better pay. Hari tu aku dah MC, hari ni pun MC lagi. Asyik MC je. Aku dah xde hati sebenarnya. Minggu ni je aku kerja 2 hari. Aku memang bukan profesional. Aku memang suka buat perangai and ikut hati. Tu pun kalau aku x happy. Ye la life bukan selalu happy. Tapi ni kerja beb! Working environment kenala happy! Barula motivated to go to work. I hate the management and my boss! Kelly sungguh!

Boss aku skunk tgh bagi aku one kind of a look. Yg pasti aku xsuka tat kind of look. Aku gitau boss aku sebab aku nak resign ialah becos of the late salary. Ada byk reason yg aku simpan, tapi late salary is the main reason y aku nak resign. Management plak try to potray kat boss aku yg aku resign becos of the workload bukan pasal late salary. I repeat again, yes workload is like hell! But at least dah penat, i hope to get what i expected (salary) on time! Payah sgt ke nak paham? Masa meeting tu plak boss aku MC. Dia mungkin dgr cerita version lain. Aku pun dah xde hati. So I couldnt care less and I couldnt be bothered!

Kereta aku plak meragam. Xleh nak salahkan dia gak. Dah lama dia x meragam. Apala salahnya dia meragam sekali sekala. Tapi sekali dia meragam, aku yang sakit... Adoiyai. So aku nak balik kg hari ni. Aku sempit duk kl ni. Buhsan. Jadi just nak bgtau aku mc hari ni sebab "x sihat". Okla. Aku nak siap2 and drive. Nanti aku bitchin lagi.